Sunday, February 20, 2005
has really been such a long time since i last entered this website...basically has been too busy with army life...staying in the jungle for 7 days field camp, 3 days sit test, grenade throw, pt , bcct and all the freaking long hours of route marches etc.. sorta hate life in army , so many regulations to follow, and always have to avoid offending the officers and sergeants, but it seems they are never happy but one thing is i made really good friends in there, will kinda miss the days in bmt after we pass out .. just got confined yesterday and booked out only today, but got to book in today also ... dont know why the sudden urge to blog today, but got to chat with liz today on msn..she;s gonna start her uni term tml.. gotta say i still miss her .. though i thought ive gotten over her.. got this sour sour feeling still in me.. miss the times we spent together .. but nevertheless happy that i still got to talk to her .. at the moment got lots of things running thru my mind, dont know how to express them.. and rather confused myself cos im feeling both happy and sad at the same time.. hope ill be able to meet someone i really like .. so i can also get over liz at the same time.. im really sad i could not get to be with liz anymore.. take care liz..i miss ya~!~!
Memories of Us || 1:45 PM
Friday, December 24, 2004
just came out from camp yesterday...army life really sucks.. tiring, boring, no girls and most importantly i miss elizabeth a lot in there...seconds are like days...mins like wks..and hours like years...supposed to book out today...but the doctor let me out earlier by one day cos i had high fever...39.2 degrees...first time i actually had high fever i think....a lot of ppl also got fever in there...there are a lot of regulations to adhere to in there...any mistake could lead u to being charged and serve a confinement....which is when others book out..u do guard duty in the camp...i really hope i dont get it...its very sad to get it i think...ppl happily booking out while u cant...the good thing is my company isnt the t0ughest and strictest do discipline in my company is quite lax...though it really takes time and a lot of adjustment to adapt to life there...it isnt a bed of roses anymore in there as compared to outside life...trust me nobody would like it inside...tomorrow's christmas...everybody's spending time with their loved ones today..going to countdown etc..but here i am staying at home...life's so sad... my family is out at east coast for a chalet with my relatives but i dont feel like going... the person that i wanna spend time with isnt here anymore... so even if i went..i still wouldnt enjoy myself...guess every festive occasion i would miss liz and think of her even more...but can u blame me? really really did love u liz
Memories of Us || 4:20 AM
Saturday, November 13, 2004
went to crystal jade and swenson's to eat...the food's super good...dearie i wanna bring u there too haha.. anyway my exams are quite screwed i think...got really so much to cover...hope i can finish....god please bless me...and my dear elizabeth too... though i need it more than her cos she was born with a better brain...but though ive been quite stressed these days...must say that have been really happy the past 2 or 3 days..cos my dear is happy with me too i think..haha...good luck dear for exams...ill always be there for u...i miss you lots~~!!
Memories of Us || 9:10 PM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
today's our first anniversary together..feels good though i didnt go out today with dear...stayed at home...yesterday walked to coro after maths c paper which was disgustingly easy... to have dinner with dear and we played LAN...haha played cs and then gunbound...she lost to me horribly...haha.. *joking* close fight lar actually.. yesterday was the first day i saw dear after i didnt see her for three days... missed her a great deal so was really really happy to see her... but nevertheless HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!! but sadly also the last anniversary where she would be arnd already..
Memories of Us || 9:00 AM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
dear, i had a heart and it was true..it fled from me and went to you..be kind to it as I have done, for you have two and I have none...My love for you starts at forever and ends at never, though it might be better never to have met you in my dreams than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.. but even when my hands are empty, I’m still holding on to you..love is acceptance..when you love someone, you take them into your heart and that is surely why it hurts so much when we lose someone we love... because we lose a part of ourselves.
Memories of Us || 1:41 PM
Friday, November 05, 2004
went to orchard library to study with dear today...msged her in the morning but she didnt reply until 1 plus when she asked me if i wanted to go orchard to study...though was sleeping..but woke up continuously to see if she had replied..waiting for someone's msg is really quite pissing off...but i wasnt really that pissed off lar..anyway was thinking our time together wouldnt be much longer already...so best is that i just tolerate such trivial matters and not make both of us unhappy..though i did question her why she didnt reply me and wasnt really very happy abt it..i tried talking nicely to her..she was very tired too cos for the past 2 days slept a total of 10 hours liddat only...left the library early too arnd 6 cos she couldnt concentrate...then bought famous amos and then went to the bus stop..waited for 174..bus was very packed..waited for the next one also the same so took cab back..have to admit after she went back i felt very sian...dont know why but i felt she wasnt really happy being with me..not that she was unhappy..but i guess ill never be the guy that she will ever love...thru out the relationship she was at times moody cos friends who once made her laf started to distance her becos of me...she missed the times where she could just hang out with her friends by herself...but becos i was always waiting for her she had to be with me...its saddening to hear her tell me these stuff..cos much as i try to make her happy..it wasnt to be...she suddenly felt yesterday that we got together too fast...she wanted the times where she could do watever she felt like doing and not be put down by commitments to me...these things bother me a lot cos i want her to be happy..maybe im thinking too much..but always get this funny feeling like she actually doesnt feel like being with me anymore..i dont know why but she treats her friends much better than she treats me most of the time..i wonder if its fair to me cos i think i treat her better than i treat any of my friends..i try to accomodate with her in anyway i can..i really dont know wat else i can do.. i dont want to lose her but if letting go makes her happy..should i or shld i not? Exams are drawing real near..know shldnt be thinking abt these stuff...but im just sad that i know if i ever had the guts to let go of her...she wouldnt bother to come after me..and thats what really hurts the most...she was online...she saw my msn nick..she knew i was feeling sian and apologised to me if it was becos she didnt reply my msg...but didnt say anything more abt wat i meant in my nick...but its simple..it just goes to reaffirm my belief that she really wouldnt come after me if i ever left her...maybe she will just miss me for a little while after she leaves...but im pretty sure she will remain a very very special person in my life even till i die...a big big part of my heart goes to her, to kaini, to jessica...but wat am to her in future will probably just be a mistake, a passing stranger whom she should have never gotten together with b4 becos very very soon later we had to part, and i would never be the one that qualifies to be even part of her heart.. love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live? Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying,is exactly the one making you cry?
Memories of Us || 10:00 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
There’s nothing in the worldI wouldn’t do for you baby...For you are the world to me. Tomorrow is the gp paper...Why does time always seem to pass so fast...Still got lots of stuff not completed...I guess I can just hope for the best now...and how do I study for gp...??
Memories of Us || 10:22 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
We all want to fall in love. Why?Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,where every sense is heightened,and every emotion is magnified.Our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens.It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon,but that doesn't diminish its value,because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives. I don't think you will ever fully understand how you've touched my life and made me who I am. I don't think you could ever knowjust how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star. I don't think you will ever fully comprehend how you've made my dreams come true or how you've opened my heart to love and the wonders it can do.You've allowed me to experience something very hard to find unconditional love that exists in my body, soul, and mind. I don't think you could ever feel all the love I have to give and I'm sure you'll never realize you've been my will to live.You are an amazing person and without you I don't know where I'd be. Having you in my life completes and fulfills every part of me.
Memories of Us || 5:10 AM
Friday, October 15, 2004
9th october 2004 - went for vaune's birthday party...studied in sch the whole day first with liz then arnd 5pm left sch library cos very sian already...went back to chinesehigh boarding sch to change and grab stuff then left took 154 to clementi...went to the pasa malam there and got some food...got sausage, tapioca cake, fishballs etc.. the sausage was good... then took mrt train to harbour front...supposed to meet qx and sl at 7 but in the end we all turned up at 9... then took feeder service to sentosa...met yanling and her friend on the bus ..haha..and followed them cos i didnt know where exactly the chalet was also...got there and everything was like so awkward cos didnt know anyone except vaune...was kinda sian and we didnt bring present also...hanged arnd aimlessly..then decided try to see if any shops were open and get her a birthday present..the shops were all closed so liz sat down with me at the beach...used my shirt to cover a piece of wood and we sat down and talked...it was a really nice moment...just the two of us...sat there for close to 40 min then qx called..guess they must have been bored to death ... they were quite pissed lar....vaune talked to liz for a while and guess vaune was trying to help me put in some good words...then i talked to vaune and she told me wat she talked to liz abt...liz told her there was no pt being together cos she had to leave already..and she did like **** b4 but also decided to give it up cos she knew she was leaving...i suddenly started to have thoughts of her leaving and i would be at a loss...so felt quite sad...then vaune said she wanted to go swimming and told me not to be sad...i guess i was actually ok but liz told her not to bother cos im always sad..that really hurt me alot cos i wasnt sad for no reason..i was sad at the thought of not being able to see her again..my heart bled..i guess i really loved her too much....thats why...but when those words came from the mouth of hers...its was really too much to take..they wanted to go 7-11 but i didnt want to ... i just felt like dyin lar..so just laid on one of the benches there ... they left i was left alone for quite some time...i cried..guess its no surprise cos i cry whenever im really sad lar...it hurts when the one ulove dont even love u...and to make matters worse..they never seem to bother...they came back abt an hr later..guess they knew i cried cos my eyes were a little sore..liz bought me some drink but didnt want to drink it... she asked me not to be sad and kept persuading me to go swimming with her..she tried to cheer me up so after some persuasion..adding to the fact i didnt want to spoil her outing...so we went swimming..i pushed her into the pool..it was quite hilarious..in the end got chased out by the guard cos it was after ten..so we tried going to the beach to swim though it wasnt allowed..in fear of getting caught..we just sat by the beach and liedon the sand..we had a heart to heart talk and i told her how much she really meant to me...i told her i really love her a lot..and she meant the whole world to me..that i was sad not becos i was always sad but cos for a genuine reason that its hurting to love someone but yet not being loved in return...and how i thought of her all the time and prayed for her to be happy every night b4 i sleep.... she was touched till she cried and she hugged me...for a moment i was lost but i hugged her..i was touched too..then i told her not to cry cos i really wanted her to be happy and crying meant she wasnt happy...dried her tears ..really felt like kissing her...but didnt have thecourage to...but as i closed my eyes and thought abt her ...she kissed me...i was overjoyed...i will never ever forget this moment ...its one of those night that will remain with me for as long as i lived...such wonderful memories..i told her i would really miss her when she leaves...and although my heart would be shattered when she leaves..i would never forget her... i really hope and want to go nz to study after my army days.. so that i couldstill be with her... we laid beside each other and held hands...and we kissed...its was the most precious and loving kiss i had ever experienced..cos it came from her...the one i truly like....we went back later to bathe and the rest of them were still playing cards...we looked for a while and then she was tired so i told her to sleep and she laid on my lap..later when everyone got to sleep...we kissed as we slept...then when qx and sl finally had to leave..we got the entire bed to ourselves and we hugged each other to sleep......i guess that was the last time i could ever get to sleepwith her again .i just hoped time stopped and just have her in my arms but itwasnt possible...went to swim early in the morning then went to delifrance for breakfast and took the monorail..walked arnd for a while then at arnd 10 plus went back to the chalet to rest...in the end stayed until one plus and we had to leave cos she meeting her hostel mates at chinatown for karoake..i went back after sending her there...slept the entire day...must also missed her badly lar..suddenly she just wasnt beside me...
Memories of Us || 7:11 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
so long never blog le...this past 6 or 7 days everyday also been studying with her...then everyday also around 10 plus then reach home ...so late and tired so no time to blog... but its worth it lar...cos get to spend time with her...yesterday went jogging with her six rounds at chinese high track around 8 plus... she supposed to go back early one lar at 5... but then she wait for me to play soccer and then go chinese high grandstand wait for me to dry up...then suddenly both of us felt like jogging so but the time she went back quite late already...after jogging still go mobil station buy drinks and delifrance to eat...today met her at 115 at coro to go town to repair her laptop then study in orhcard library...but the hp service centre has been relocated to alexandra road...so didnt get to repair it...then ate at breeks and studied till 8 then walked arnd taka and bought food... got chicken balls and popiah etc... the chicken balls sound disgusting lar... but she liked it...haha... must really say the past few days has been really enjoyable and memorable for me... cos they have been spent with her... i dont want to think about her having to leave...shall just cherish the moment and live the present...
Memories of Us || 11:20 PM
Thursday, September 30, 2004
my resolutions as on today:
1) i must spend at least 2 hrs studying at home everyday.
2) i must not waste time and make use of whatever time to study
3) i must get to see her everyday (haha..that is whenever i can)
all becos my results suck. I wanna get a nice cert and not regret not studying hard enuf.
Gonna study now~!~! BYE~
Memories of Us || 9:08 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
haiz..sch reopens...feels a bit weird having to start attending lessons cos was playing for the last one week... results are like shit too..look at the papers also feel like tearing them into pieces and burning them in ashes and slam dunk down the basketball hoop... today had physics prac extra lessons till 3 then ate and slacked in the canteen till 4 plus..saw her in the canteen at around 4 plus too..but she was with her friends so i couldnt really get to talk to her.. then they left so i thought they were going library to study...then all my friends wanted to leave school so i left with them too..msged her to tell her i leaving...was at the chinese high bus stop with swee lee and huiling le..then she msged me to ask if i left already...i told her not yet and she said she was going to leave school and can leave together if i still in sch...so after huiling boarded the bus...i crossed back to nj with swee lee and he went home while i went back nj to find her...msged her to meet in the canteen in 3 min but she was already at the grandstand going to go back... so met her on the way... then asked her if she wanted to study in sch and stuff...so in the end studied at the oasis till 630 liddat cos she had to leave to do some of her uni stuff... so went back lorz... really got to start studying le la..my results seriously suck
Memories of Us || 8:12 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
yesterday worked for cannon printer..it was the slackest job ever from 12 to 8, spent abt an hour cutting my hair..2 hours watching movie...40 min at hmv listening to music...haha..then also abt 30 min eating at burger king...cant remember walking for more than 2 hours pushing the trolley and advertising...then earned 50 bucks...haha..enjoyed myself .. watched the ghost with her...didnt understand wat it was abt till when i got home and thought abt it...think i understand a bit now lar...haha...after signing off from work went taka buy some food and walked around the mooncake fair to get free samples of mooncakes with no intention of buying...haha..then we went back..i sent her back..then told her didnt feel like going back yet..so we sat at chinese high grandstand and talked from like 9 to 11... felt sad when we had to depart... cos really miss her a lot.. i really like her...but i think she doesnt...maybe she's trying ..but where matters of the heart is concerned..we cant force one to love...haiz...i feel sad whenever i think she has to go..totally depressed and disappointed..though spent the last 2 days with her already..but now whenever she isnt by my side...i feel so lost and yearn for her...why cant the one i love love me too..i will treat her the best i can treat..why is it that the one i dont love likes me but the one i love doesnt ... its sad whenever i think of it...cos i never really got to be with the one i truly liked.. supposed to be in school now for the dress to impress thingy lar..but woke up late and also dont feel like going...quite tired...dont know wat im going to do for the whole of today le .. so bored....
Memories of Us || 8:08 AM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
today went out with her... woke up especially early to prepare...then went to the busstop but realised forgot to bring my wallet..i had timed properly so i could reach there on time to pass her the brownie, cd, letter and doggy at the boarding sch.. but then i needed my wallet so called my maid to bring it to the bus stop for me...in the end took a cab cos was late already... passed her the stuff so she could put back in her room and didnt need to carry it all around town...but wanted her to have the doggy when she was watching movie...so didnt take it out of my big bag... then went to ps to have breakfast at mosque burger...got some funny strawberry dessert which was frozen..thought it was disgusting at first but didnt turn out too bad..then watched 'one missed call' with her...watched with swee lee b4 but didnt quite understand the story and it was a nice movie so wanted to watch another time...passed her the doggy in the theatre which had only 4 ppl inside including us... she named it browny... hope she likes it ... i thought the dog was really cute... after the movie we shopped around town and met many nj ppl which we were praying hard to avoid..for me it was alright..just didnt want things to be difficult for her... actually had wanted to watch another movie but the timings were a bit too late or had to wait too long..so she decided she wanted to go back and rest...but i didnt wan to...so i asked if she wanted to go to the esplanade...in the end went there and talked from 5 to 9 liddat...it was a sweet and nice moment for we bared our hearts to each other about our stuff and lifes..though some of the things upsetted me...i felt happy cos she trusted me enough to tell me some things ... we bought curry puffs and a hot dog there but the curry puff turned out to be spoilt and i had like eaten half of the curry puff then realised it was stale..luckily for her she only ate the flour part and not the the potato...but guess the hot dog was alright lar..i left the esplanade reluctantly cos i knew it was soon we had to part..went to bread talk in citylink to buy bread... and then sent her back..she signed the late form and under my name mr lim... really had an enjoyable day today..fond memories which will accompany me all thru my life..i love her and i really love her a whole lot..
Memories of Us || 11:59 PM
so many days never write blog le..busy going on a shopping spree for the past 3 days and busy with plans for saturday... one of the days stayed over at swee lee's house so all in all no time to write blog... so excited abt tml lar..haha..waited for this day for so long ... haha.. but after this week its time to get down to serious work and start studying again..haiz..hope that i still get to study with her during this period of time..if not might not be able to totally concentrate..but abt tml so so excited... must sleep now le..have enough rest to be in the best condition..ciao
Memories of Us || 1:22 AM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
PRELIMS are FINALLY over!!! but it just means alevels is drawing even closer... but who cares lar.. enjoy first then say.. dont expect to do very well lar..but shouldnt be too bad too..haha... gonna study for one more day b4 playing .. at home also so sian ... nth for me to play... wHEre Should I g0?
Memories of Us || 8:43 PM
Monday, September 20, 2004
at the bastard swee lee house now say my blog very fake..but wat ive published is really from the bottom of my heart lar..yesterday got a real fruitful day... studied at sixth avenue in coffeebean ...though was noisy but managed to complete p and c tutorial...but today's maths paper cant even do the p and c at all..wat the hell lar.. i miss yesterday very much ..time passes so quicky ...especially the good times but these are the moments and memories that remain in me forever.. i hope she wont forget too.. cos i never will...
Memories of Us || 4:16 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2004
if i had u by the side i would be the happiest man on earth nothing makes me happier than just to see u and be able to love u... and i always will... its painful to always bottle my thoughts and feelings when all i really wan is just to be with u.. but will u give me a chance?
Memories of Us || 7:01 PM
God, will you let her know that I love her so when there’s no one there, that she’s not alone? Just close her eyes and let her know my heart is beating with hers.
Memories of Us || 12:19 PM
three casualties in three days ... physics then computing then fmaths... tml computing paper 2 ... also die already... i rather be off dead..
Memories of Us || 11:54 AM
Friday, September 17, 2004
just have i have expected study or not also die , just as i thought abt her again and starting to feel a little moody, she msged to say she kinda misses me too..haha..im overjoyed...im gonna study for f maths now cos i know she is studying very hard now too... so must do the same!!! yay!! so happy haha
Memories of Us || 5:52 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
its 3 hours b4 the computing paper and im desperately trying to study as much as i can for it, im gonna fail it anyway la..but i mustnt... promised her i would study..perservere!!!!
Memories of Us || 7:44 PM
Ive been searching for that someone to show me the way,to take my hand and tell me that everything will be okay.Ive been searching for that someone,and now I know its true,ive found that special someone, I've found that someone in her.
Everyday just gets harder and harder time passes faster and faster, 2 mths and 16 days more to go before she has to leave for new zealand, the reality is hard to take, why is fate so cruel? Today just took the physics prelim papers, ive really invested a lot of effort on it but did very badly..everyone said it was easy, haiz guess im just too stupid thought it was hard though .. tml computing paper, havent even studied for it but guess no difference whether i study ur not.. feeling rather upset now but perphaps wats given me some consolation right now is while i was studying in the library this morning, she came over at and sat beside to study.. we didnt talk much, but we did talk and joked a little bit, the more i see her the cuter i feel she is..she's really really cute ~~ she put her white sweater over her head and said her friend told her she looked like 'igloo', or eskimo she meant and i agree too.. if there was litle white riding hood she would be just her..in the rhythm of life, we sometimes find ourselves out of the tune, but as long as there's someone which becomes our melody, the music plays on. I really thank her for being one of my best songs
Memories of Us || 10:18 AM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
2 maths paper in a day can u believe it? my brain is going to explode never study for physics at all since i came back till now ... so tired and fed up..guess wat.. really longing to see her ... the feeling of missing someone is really super screwed up... my life is damn screwed up ... actually i just long for her msg and it will spur me on to study.. but no msg :( missing someone turns from pain to pleasure when u know u r being missed in return.. but all im feeling now is pain~~
Memories of Us || 12:43 PM
I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart. I may have cried a million times since we haven't been together, but all the times you made me smile is what will remain in my heart forever.You may have someone in your mind, you may have someone in your heart, you may have someone in your dreams, you may have someone in your life. But I am your someone when you have no one.Finally returned to blogging again after 5 long months. the past week has been filled with ups and down though im feeling terrible and depressed most of the time sometimes i wished this prelims never ended wished that time could turn back to the time i spent my time with her and just freeze in time but studying when she was around seriously never had been so fun ... my world has been a million times nicer, because and whenever i share it with her.Loving someone who doesn't love your back is like reaching for the stars; you know you'll never get there but you just keep on trying. I can't make you love me, want me, or understand me... all I can do is hope that someday you will.
Memories of Us || 10:00 AM
has really been such a long time since i last entered this website...basically has been too busy with army life...staying in the jungle for 7 days field camp, 3 days sit test, grenade throw, pt , bcct and all the freaking long hours of route marches etc.. sorta hate life in army , so many regulations to follow, and always have to avoid offending the officers and sergeants, but it seems they are never happy but one thing is i made really good friends in there, will kinda miss the days in bmt after we pass out .. just got confined yesterday and booked out only today, but got to book in today also ... dont know why the sudden urge to blog today, but got to chat with liz today on msn..she;s gonna start her uni term tml.. gotta say i still miss her .. though i thought ive gotten over her.. got this sour sour feeling still in me.. miss the times we spent together .. but nevertheless happy that i still got to talk to her .. at the moment got lots of things running thru my mind, dont know how to express them.. and rather confused myself cos im feeling both happy and sad at the same time.. hope ill be able to meet someone i really like .. so i can also get over liz at the same time.. im really sad i could not get to be with liz anymore.. take care liz..i miss ya~!~!
Memories of Us || 1:45 PM
Friday, December 24, 2004
just came out from camp yesterday...army life really sucks.. tiring, boring, no girls and most importantly i miss elizabeth a lot in there...seconds are like days...mins like wks..and hours like years...supposed to book out today...but the doctor let me out earlier by one day cos i had high fever...39.2 degrees...first time i actually had high fever i think....a lot of ppl also got fever in there...there are a lot of regulations to adhere to in there...any mistake could lead u to being charged and serve a confinement....which is when others book out..u do guard duty in the camp...i really hope i dont get it...its very sad to get it i think...ppl happily booking out while u cant...the good thing is my company isnt the t0ughest and strictest do discipline in my company is quite lax...though it really takes time and a lot of adjustment to adapt to life there...it isnt a bed of roses anymore in there as compared to outside life...trust me nobody would like it inside...tomorrow's christmas...everybody's spending time with their loved ones today..going to countdown etc..but here i am staying at home...life's so sad... my family is out at east coast for a chalet with my relatives but i dont feel like going... the person that i wanna spend time with isnt here anymore... so even if i went..i still wouldnt enjoy myself...guess every festive occasion i would miss liz and think of her even more...but can u blame me? really really did love u liz
Memories of Us || 4:20 AM
Saturday, November 13, 2004
went to crystal jade and swenson's to eat...the food's super good...dearie i wanna bring u there too haha.. anyway my exams are quite screwed i think...got really so much to cover...hope i can finish....god please bless me...and my dear elizabeth too... though i need it more than her cos she was born with a better brain...but though ive been quite stressed these days...must say that have been really happy the past 2 or 3 days..cos my dear is happy with me too i think..haha...good luck dear for exams...ill always be there for u...i miss you lots~~!!
Memories of Us || 9:10 PM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
today's our first anniversary together..feels good though i didnt go out today with dear...stayed at home...yesterday walked to coro after maths c paper which was disgustingly easy... to have dinner with dear and we played LAN...haha played cs and then gunbound...she lost to me horribly...haha.. *joking* close fight lar actually.. yesterday was the first day i saw dear after i didnt see her for three days... missed her a great deal so was really really happy to see her... but nevertheless HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!! but sadly also the last anniversary where she would be arnd already..
Memories of Us || 9:00 AM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
dear, i had a heart and it was true..it fled from me and went to you..be kind to it as I have done, for you have two and I have none...My love for you starts at forever and ends at never, though it might be better never to have met you in my dreams than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.. but even when my hands are empty, I’m still holding on to you..love is acceptance..when you love someone, you take them into your heart and that is surely why it hurts so much when we lose someone we love... because we lose a part of ourselves.
Memories of Us || 1:41 PM
Friday, November 05, 2004
went to orchard library to study with dear today...msged her in the morning but she didnt reply until 1 plus when she asked me if i wanted to go orchard to study...though was sleeping..but woke up continuously to see if she had replied..waiting for someone's msg is really quite pissing off...but i wasnt really that pissed off lar..anyway was thinking our time together wouldnt be much longer already...so best is that i just tolerate such trivial matters and not make both of us unhappy..though i did question her why she didnt reply me and wasnt really very happy abt it..i tried talking nicely to her..she was very tired too cos for the past 2 days slept a total of 10 hours liddat only...left the library early too arnd 6 cos she couldnt concentrate...then bought famous amos and then went to the bus stop..waited for 174..bus was very packed..waited for the next one also the same so took cab back..have to admit after she went back i felt very sian...dont know why but i felt she wasnt really happy being with me..not that she was unhappy..but i guess ill never be the guy that she will ever love...thru out the relationship she was at times moody cos friends who once made her laf started to distance her becos of me...she missed the times where she could just hang out with her friends by herself...but becos i was always waiting for her she had to be with me...its saddening to hear her tell me these stuff..cos much as i try to make her happy..it wasnt to be...she suddenly felt yesterday that we got together too fast...she wanted the times where she could do watever she felt like doing and not be put down by commitments to me...these things bother me a lot cos i want her to be happy..maybe im thinking too much..but always get this funny feeling like she actually doesnt feel like being with me anymore..i dont know why but she treats her friends much better than she treats me most of the time..i wonder if its fair to me cos i think i treat her better than i treat any of my friends..i try to accomodate with her in anyway i can..i really dont know wat else i can do.. i dont want to lose her but if letting go makes her happy..should i or shld i not? Exams are drawing real near..know shldnt be thinking abt these stuff...but im just sad that i know if i ever had the guts to let go of her...she wouldnt bother to come after me..and thats what really hurts the most...she was online...she saw my msn nick..she knew i was feeling sian and apologised to me if it was becos she didnt reply my msg...but didnt say anything more abt wat i meant in my nick...but its simple..it just goes to reaffirm my belief that she really wouldnt come after me if i ever left her...maybe she will just miss me for a little while after she leaves...but im pretty sure she will remain a very very special person in my life even till i die...a big big part of my heart goes to her, to kaini, to jessica...but wat am to her in future will probably just be a mistake, a passing stranger whom she should have never gotten together with b4 becos very very soon later we had to part, and i would never be the one that qualifies to be even part of her heart.. love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live? Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying,is exactly the one making you cry?
Memories of Us || 10:00 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
There’s nothing in the worldI wouldn’t do for you baby...For you are the world to me. Tomorrow is the gp paper...Why does time always seem to pass so fast...Still got lots of stuff not completed...I guess I can just hope for the best now...and how do I study for gp...??
Memories of Us || 10:22 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
We all want to fall in love. Why?Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,where every sense is heightened,and every emotion is magnified.Our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens.It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon,but that doesn't diminish its value,because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives. I don't think you will ever fully understand how you've touched my life and made me who I am. I don't think you could ever knowjust how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star. I don't think you will ever fully comprehend how you've made my dreams come true or how you've opened my heart to love and the wonders it can do.You've allowed me to experience something very hard to find unconditional love that exists in my body, soul, and mind. I don't think you could ever feel all the love I have to give and I'm sure you'll never realize you've been my will to live.You are an amazing person and without you I don't know where I'd be. Having you in my life completes and fulfills every part of me.
Memories of Us || 5:10 AM
Friday, October 15, 2004
9th october 2004 - went for vaune's birthday party...studied in sch the whole day first with liz then arnd 5pm left sch library cos very sian already...went back to chinesehigh boarding sch to change and grab stuff then left took 154 to clementi...went to the pasa malam there and got some food...got sausage, tapioca cake, fishballs etc.. the sausage was good... then took mrt train to harbour front...supposed to meet qx and sl at 7 but in the end we all turned up at 9... then took feeder service to sentosa...met yanling and her friend on the bus ..haha..and followed them cos i didnt know where exactly the chalet was also...got there and everything was like so awkward cos didnt know anyone except vaune...was kinda sian and we didnt bring present also...hanged arnd aimlessly..then decided try to see if any shops were open and get her a birthday present..the shops were all closed so liz sat down with me at the beach...used my shirt to cover a piece of wood and we sat down and talked...it was a really nice moment...just the two of us...sat there for close to 40 min then qx called..guess they must have been bored to death ... they were quite pissed lar....vaune talked to liz for a while and guess vaune was trying to help me put in some good words...then i talked to vaune and she told me wat she talked to liz abt...liz told her there was no pt being together cos she had to leave already..and she did like **** b4 but also decided to give it up cos she knew she was leaving...i suddenly started to have thoughts of her leaving and i would be at a loss...so felt quite sad...then vaune said she wanted to go swimming and told me not to be sad...i guess i was actually ok but liz told her not to bother cos im always sad..that really hurt me alot cos i wasnt sad for no reason..i was sad at the thought of not being able to see her again..my heart bled..i guess i really loved her too much....thats why...but when those words came from the mouth of hers...its was really too much to take..they wanted to go 7-11 but i didnt want to ... i just felt like dyin lar..so just laid on one of the benches there ... they left i was left alone for quite some time...i cried..guess its no surprise cos i cry whenever im really sad lar...it hurts when the one ulove dont even love u...and to make matters worse..they never seem to bother...they came back abt an hr later..guess they knew i cried cos my eyes were a little sore..liz bought me some drink but didnt want to drink it... she asked me not to be sad and kept persuading me to go swimming with her..she tried to cheer me up so after some persuasion..adding to the fact i didnt want to spoil her outing...so we went swimming..i pushed her into the pool..it was quite hilarious..in the end got chased out by the guard cos it was after ten..so we tried going to the beach to swim though it wasnt allowed..in fear of getting caught..we just sat by the beach and liedon the sand..we had a heart to heart talk and i told her how much she really meant to me...i told her i really love her a lot..and she meant the whole world to me..that i was sad not becos i was always sad but cos for a genuine reason that its hurting to love someone but yet not being loved in return...and how i thought of her all the time and prayed for her to be happy every night b4 i sleep.... she was touched till she cried and she hugged me...for a moment i was lost but i hugged her..i was touched too..then i told her not to cry cos i really wanted her to be happy and crying meant she wasnt happy...dried her tears ..really felt like kissing her...but didnt have thecourage to...but as i closed my eyes and thought abt her ...she kissed me...i was overjoyed...i will never ever forget this moment ...its one of those night that will remain with me for as long as i lived...such wonderful memories..i told her i would really miss her when she leaves...and although my heart would be shattered when she leaves..i would never forget her... i really hope and want to go nz to study after my army days.. so that i couldstill be with her... we laid beside each other and held hands...and we kissed...its was the most precious and loving kiss i had ever experienced..cos it came from her...the one i truly like....we went back later to bathe and the rest of them were still playing cards...we looked for a while and then she was tired so i told her to sleep and she laid on my lap..later when everyone got to sleep...we kissed as we slept...then when qx and sl finally had to leave..we got the entire bed to ourselves and we hugged each other to sleep......i guess that was the last time i could ever get to sleepwith her again .i just hoped time stopped and just have her in my arms but itwasnt possible...went to swim early in the morning then went to delifrance for breakfast and took the monorail..walked arnd for a while then at arnd 10 plus went back to the chalet to rest...in the end stayed until one plus and we had to leave cos she meeting her hostel mates at chinatown for karoake..i went back after sending her there...slept the entire day...must also missed her badly lar..suddenly she just wasnt beside me...
Memories of Us || 7:11 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
so long never blog le...this past 6 or 7 days everyday also been studying with her...then everyday also around 10 plus then reach home ...so late and tired so no time to blog... but its worth it lar...cos get to spend time with her...yesterday went jogging with her six rounds at chinese high track around 8 plus... she supposed to go back early one lar at 5... but then she wait for me to play soccer and then go chinese high grandstand wait for me to dry up...then suddenly both of us felt like jogging so but the time she went back quite late already...after jogging still go mobil station buy drinks and delifrance to eat...today met her at 115 at coro to go town to repair her laptop then study in orhcard library...but the hp service centre has been relocated to alexandra road...so didnt get to repair it...then ate at breeks and studied till 8 then walked arnd taka and bought food... got chicken balls and popiah etc... the chicken balls sound disgusting lar... but she liked it...haha... must really say the past few days has been really enjoyable and memorable for me... cos they have been spent with her... i dont want to think about her having to leave...shall just cherish the moment and live the present...
Memories of Us || 11:20 PM
Thursday, September 30, 2004
my resolutions as on today:
1) i must spend at least 2 hrs studying at home everyday.
2) i must not waste time and make use of whatever time to study
3) i must get to see her everyday (haha..that is whenever i can)
all becos my results suck. I wanna get a nice cert and not regret not studying hard enuf.
Gonna study now~!~! BYE~
Memories of Us || 9:08 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
haiz..sch reopens...feels a bit weird having to start attending lessons cos was playing for the last one week... results are like shit too..look at the papers also feel like tearing them into pieces and burning them in ashes and slam dunk down the basketball hoop... today had physics prac extra lessons till 3 then ate and slacked in the canteen till 4 plus..saw her in the canteen at around 4 plus too..but she was with her friends so i couldnt really get to talk to her.. then they left so i thought they were going library to study...then all my friends wanted to leave school so i left with them too..msged her to tell her i leaving...was at the chinese high bus stop with swee lee and huiling le..then she msged me to ask if i left already...i told her not yet and she said she was going to leave school and can leave together if i still in sch...so after huiling boarded the bus...i crossed back to nj with swee lee and he went home while i went back nj to find her...msged her to meet in the canteen in 3 min but she was already at the grandstand going to go back... so met her on the way... then asked her if she wanted to study in sch and stuff...so in the end studied at the oasis till 630 liddat cos she had to leave to do some of her uni stuff... so went back lorz... really got to start studying le la..my results seriously suck
Memories of Us || 8:12 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
yesterday worked for cannon printer..it was the slackest job ever from 12 to 8, spent abt an hour cutting my hair..2 hours watching movie...40 min at hmv listening to music...haha..then also abt 30 min eating at burger king...cant remember walking for more than 2 hours pushing the trolley and advertising...then earned 50 bucks...haha..enjoyed myself .. watched the ghost with her...didnt understand wat it was abt till when i got home and thought abt it...think i understand a bit now lar...haha...after signing off from work went taka buy some food and walked around the mooncake fair to get free samples of mooncakes with no intention of buying...haha..then we went back..i sent her back..then told her didnt feel like going back yet..so we sat at chinese high grandstand and talked from like 9 to 11... felt sad when we had to depart... cos really miss her a lot.. i really like her...but i think she doesnt...maybe she's trying ..but where matters of the heart is concerned..we cant force one to love...haiz...i feel sad whenever i think she has to go..totally depressed and disappointed..though spent the last 2 days with her already..but now whenever she isnt by my side...i feel so lost and yearn for her...why cant the one i love love me too..i will treat her the best i can treat..why is it that the one i dont love likes me but the one i love doesnt ... its sad whenever i think of it...cos i never really got to be with the one i truly liked.. supposed to be in school now for the dress to impress thingy lar..but woke up late and also dont feel like going...quite tired...dont know wat im going to do for the whole of today le .. so bored....
Memories of Us || 8:08 AM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
today went out with her... woke up especially early to prepare...then went to the busstop but realised forgot to bring my wallet..i had timed properly so i could reach there on time to pass her the brownie, cd, letter and doggy at the boarding sch.. but then i needed my wallet so called my maid to bring it to the bus stop for me...in the end took a cab cos was late already... passed her the stuff so she could put back in her room and didnt need to carry it all around town...but wanted her to have the doggy when she was watching movie...so didnt take it out of my big bag... then went to ps to have breakfast at mosque burger...got some funny strawberry dessert which was frozen..thought it was disgusting at first but didnt turn out too bad..then watched 'one missed call' with her...watched with swee lee b4 but didnt quite understand the story and it was a nice movie so wanted to watch another time...passed her the doggy in the theatre which had only 4 ppl inside including us... she named it browny... hope she likes it ... i thought the dog was really cute... after the movie we shopped around town and met many nj ppl which we were praying hard to avoid..for me it was alright..just didnt want things to be difficult for her... actually had wanted to watch another movie but the timings were a bit too late or had to wait too long..so she decided she wanted to go back and rest...but i didnt wan to...so i asked if she wanted to go to the esplanade...in the end went there and talked from 5 to 9 liddat...it was a sweet and nice moment for we bared our hearts to each other about our stuff and lifes..though some of the things upsetted me...i felt happy cos she trusted me enough to tell me some things ... we bought curry puffs and a hot dog there but the curry puff turned out to be spoilt and i had like eaten half of the curry puff then realised it was stale..luckily for her she only ate the flour part and not the the potato...but guess the hot dog was alright lar..i left the esplanade reluctantly cos i knew it was soon we had to part..went to bread talk in citylink to buy bread... and then sent her back..she signed the late form and under my name mr lim... really had an enjoyable day today..fond memories which will accompany me all thru my life..i love her and i really love her a whole lot..
Memories of Us || 11:59 PM
so many days never write blog le..busy going on a shopping spree for the past 3 days and busy with plans for saturday... one of the days stayed over at swee lee's house so all in all no time to write blog... so excited abt tml lar..haha..waited for this day for so long ... haha.. but after this week its time to get down to serious work and start studying again..haiz..hope that i still get to study with her during this period of time..if not might not be able to totally concentrate..but abt tml so so excited... must sleep now le..have enough rest to be in the best condition..ciao
Memories of Us || 1:22 AM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
PRELIMS are FINALLY over!!! but it just means alevels is drawing even closer... but who cares lar.. enjoy first then say.. dont expect to do very well lar..but shouldnt be too bad too..haha... gonna study for one more day b4 playing .. at home also so sian ... nth for me to play... wHEre Should I g0?
Memories of Us || 8:43 PM
Monday, September 20, 2004
at the bastard swee lee house now say my blog very fake..but wat ive published is really from the bottom of my heart lar..yesterday got a real fruitful day... studied at sixth avenue in coffeebean ...though was noisy but managed to complete p and c tutorial...but today's maths paper cant even do the p and c at all..wat the hell lar.. i miss yesterday very much ..time passes so quicky ...especially the good times but these are the moments and memories that remain in me forever.. i hope she wont forget too.. cos i never will...
Memories of Us || 4:16 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2004
if i had u by the side i would be the happiest man on earth nothing makes me happier than just to see u and be able to love u... and i always will... its painful to always bottle my thoughts and feelings when all i really wan is just to be with u.. but will u give me a chance?
Memories of Us || 7:01 PM
God, will you let her know that I love her so when there’s no one there, that she’s not alone? Just close her eyes and let her know my heart is beating with hers.
Memories of Us || 12:19 PM
three casualties in three days ... physics then computing then fmaths... tml computing paper 2 ... also die already... i rather be off dead..
Memories of Us || 11:54 AM
Friday, September 17, 2004
just have i have expected study or not also die , just as i thought abt her again and starting to feel a little moody, she msged to say she kinda misses me too..haha..im overjoyed...im gonna study for f maths now cos i know she is studying very hard now too... so must do the same!!! yay!! so happy haha
Memories of Us || 5:52 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
its 3 hours b4 the computing paper and im desperately trying to study as much as i can for it, im gonna fail it anyway la..but i mustnt... promised her i would study..perservere!!!!
Memories of Us || 7:44 PM
Ive been searching for that someone to show me the way,to take my hand and tell me that everything will be okay.Ive been searching for that someone,and now I know its true,ive found that special someone, I've found that someone in her.
Everyday just gets harder and harder time passes faster and faster, 2 mths and 16 days more to go before she has to leave for new zealand, the reality is hard to take, why is fate so cruel? Today just took the physics prelim papers, ive really invested a lot of effort on it but did very badly..everyone said it was easy, haiz guess im just too stupid thought it was hard though .. tml computing paper, havent even studied for it but guess no difference whether i study ur not.. feeling rather upset now but perphaps wats given me some consolation right now is while i was studying in the library this morning, she came over at and sat beside to study.. we didnt talk much, but we did talk and joked a little bit, the more i see her the cuter i feel she is..she's really really cute ~~ she put her white sweater over her head and said her friend told her she looked like 'igloo', or eskimo she meant and i agree too.. if there was litle white riding hood she would be just her..in the rhythm of life, we sometimes find ourselves out of the tune, but as long as there's someone which becomes our melody, the music plays on. I really thank her for being one of my best songs
Memories of Us || 10:18 AM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
2 maths paper in a day can u believe it? my brain is going to explode never study for physics at all since i came back till now ... so tired and fed up..guess wat.. really longing to see her ... the feeling of missing someone is really super screwed up... my life is damn screwed up ... actually i just long for her msg and it will spur me on to study.. but no msg :( missing someone turns from pain to pleasure when u know u r being missed in return.. but all im feeling now is pain~~
Memories of Us || 12:43 PM
I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart. I may have cried a million times since we haven't been together, but all the times you made me smile is what will remain in my heart forever.You may have someone in your mind, you may have someone in your heart, you may have someone in your dreams, you may have someone in your life. But I am your someone when you have no one.Finally returned to blogging again after 5 long months. the past week has been filled with ups and down though im feeling terrible and depressed most of the time sometimes i wished this prelims never ended wished that time could turn back to the time i spent my time with her and just freeze in time but studying when she was around seriously never had been so fun ... my world has been a million times nicer, because and whenever i share it with her.Loving someone who doesn't love your back is like reaching for the stars; you know you'll never get there but you just keep on trying. I can't make you love me, want me, or understand me... all I can do is hope that someday you will.
Memories of Us || 10:00 AM
Profile
Watson Lim
The Sad One
Hopelessly in Love
With his baby Elizabeth
Seasons
SUN and RAIN only
SUNNY DAY
HOT SUNNY DAY
Tagboard
i love u dear
really love u
forever and always
Credits
Watson
Elizabeth~
Watson Lim
The Sad One
Hopelessly in Love
With his baby Elizabeth
Seasons
SUN and RAIN only
SUNNY DAY
HOT SUNNY DAY
Tagboard
i love u dear
really love u
forever and always
Credits
Watson
Elizabeth~